Humorous Quotations Archives

Humorous Quotations
Issue #119
Dec 19, 2004

Hi Friends,

Before we start this week's issue a quick apology
for a wrong attribution in last week's issue. I must
have had one too many Scot ... I mean Scotches to
attribute the line "Opera is where a guy gets stabbed
in the back, and instead of dying, he sings." to
Robert Burns. It should have read Robert Benchley.
Thanks to alert reader Jim Clark for pointing out that
something was amiss. And now on to this week's issue...

"By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything.
You only have to remember it."


Any guesses who the above line is from ? No??
Don't tell me you don't know Nathan Birnbaum?
Does Natty ring a bell? What about George Burns ?


"I can't understand why I flunked American history.
When I was a kid there was so little of it."

"I'd announced that I was going to sing and all our guests
would make a ring around the piano. But somehow I'd manage
to fight my way through that ring and sing anyway."


Biography of George Burns
------------------------------
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0122675/bio

Humorous Quotes of George Burns - Jest for Pun
--------------------------------------------
Your wz-ard's collection
http://workinghumor.com/quotes/george_burns.shtml

Spend An Evening with George Burns?
-------------------------------------------------
But be careful. George does manage to sneak
through the cordon protecting the piano and sing !
http://www.radiolovers.com/pages/evening_with_george_burns.htm


For all the best resources on Humorous Quotations, visit:
http://www.exwz.com.


To wind up this issue...

"You've got to be honest;
if you can fake that, you've got it made."

;o)

Gunjan
The EXpendable WZard of Humorous Quotations

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